If there is one thing I have learned of late, it is that each person’s recovery journey from CFS/Adrenal Fatigue is unique. This may seem like an obvious observation but when you have spent so long trying to recover in the ways that don’t serve you, but serve others, this can be a delayed realisation to come to. Especially when you want recovery so bad and would do anything to get there.
I can honestly tell you that every time I hear that someone is doing wonderfully in their recovery by trying this radical new diet or seeing this amazing alternative practitioner, I have immediately wanted the details. In a state of handsome curiosity and sheer determination to heal, I believe that adopting their approach is going to be the answer to my prayers. Unfortunately, none have been so far.
Let me tell you, I have tried so many things to try and get better. Wouldn’t you if you had spent 5 or so years feeling like a lethargic shadow of your former self? The feeling of relentless fatigue, overwhelming anxiety, constant high-alert state and mental fogginess cloud your self identity and you would give anything to feel like you again- trust me.
But this reminder that I need to take my own path- this just really hit home. I guess I have known it all along, but the Universe sends us gentle reminders and as I scrolled my Instagram newsfeed today, the words yelled at me loud and clear- there are so many ways to heal and only I know the way my body needs.
I have spent so much time, money and energy trying to heal the way others did. But what I hadn’t factored in is that like our personalities, everyone one of us has a different road that lead us to ill-health, set of lessons to learn from this journey and healing path- no two journeys are the same. So instead of jumping into this GAPS diet, or taking this test, taking this supplement or seeing this alternative practitoner, which have all brought much success for my beautiful friends and others, I need to look inside myself and find what works for me.
The hard truth I have realised, with the help of a few refreshing wake up calls such as having to step back from working and a massive setback was that I can’t recover someone else’s way. In fact, this is one of the factors that has been inhibiting my recovery.
I’ll admit, I was angry at myself for a while as I made this realisation. Why can’t I just stick with whats right for me? Why can’t I just have faith in my own path? I felt as though I was sabotaging my own journey. But as I reflect, I realise it was my humanistic instinct and utter determination to get better that led me to this point. It is only natural for us to want to solve a problem when it arises, especially when it makes you feel so horrible and uncomfortable as this does.
This process is slow, so incredibly challenging and my god, the greatest self development adventure ever. But, we have to tune into our body and ask it what it needs- not rely on the recommendations or helpful remedies of those around us- as hard as this can be to sometimes accept. We want a quick-fix, easy solution but this illness has no such answer. It is convuluded and hidden under a barrage of limiting self beliefs, overthinking and scary symptoms that must be addressed to evolve into self love, compassion and healing.
I may be caught in a web of mystery right now but slowly I am figuring things out. My path to healing is a deeply spiritual one involving filling myself with love, working through unhelpful patterns and raising my vibration. Sure, it has been a bumpy ride with a lot of trial and error but with each hurdle I have learned something helpful to take with me. Mistakes are simply lessons.
Going forward, my quest is simple- make recovery my no.1 priority. I want to marry my beautiful fiancee, create our beautiful family and life together and work in my dream career as an Occupational Therapist or Social Worker helping and inspiring others. I don’t want to be unwell anymore so this means 100% committment to my own healing path.
– Eating a healthy diet of regular, nutritious meals (this means no more using chocolate as a source of energy- my bad habit at the moment)
– Keeping my nervous system calm with deep breathing exercises, meditation and herbal tea
– Regular, gentle exercise (yoga and walking)
– Working through emotions (included blocked ones) using EFT and the Emotion Code
– Doing less than what I think I can do- setting boundaries, being assertive, saying no when necessary, asking for help
– Raising my vibration, learning to love myself more and eliminating negative though patterns with tapping, chanting, grounding, singing and listening to music, morning routine, gratitude, intentions, law of attraction practices, visualisation, affirmations and ACT
– Utilising the help of medical professionals and alternative practitioners- psychologist, doctor, exercise physiologist, chinese medicine practitioner
In addition, this also means taking things slower than I need to, allowing my body to catch up to changes and adapt accordingly. My neurotransmitters are out of whack, my hormones out of balance and much of my vital organs, mainly my kidneys and adrenals are weak, hence this process of healing is a very delicate journey that requires much patience and resilience.
I will admit, I have felt especially in yhe past week that recovery feels so far away. But, I can’t think like that because that will only make things worse. I must be positive and optimistic, having faith my mind and body’s phenomonal healing abilities. If our body can heal from a broken bone or cut without limited intervention, my body can definitely heal from this! I just need to remember that.
So now that I have recognised what I need to do to heal and blocked out that of others, I will continue to restore and reinvigorate my life force. I know there is so much magic that lies ahead in this is just a little (but big) bump in the road. I will learn these lessons, I will conquer this illness and I will live a life beyond my wildest dreams because even though things seem a little dark and dreary now, lightness is slowly filling inside me.
Sunshine is emerging from within and its only a matter of time before I fill it’s radiant energy once again. I just have to keep going forward.